Friday, March 23, 2012

Leafers

We left the city to watch the leaves rain, touching hands and laughing hysterics.  It's some backward contention.  Your press for harmonics.  A hurt doubt offering some godspeed.  I loved your damage.  I burned your heart.  You will never see this face again...  We will all be barren of emotion.  A blank mutation exchanged immutable.  The colors of trees were a palette for melancholy as we sat among the horizon golden.  And you had not read these words. And you had not blessed this sin.  And you had not lost your mind yet. I only wish I could remember.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

A Lack of Over-eventful Evenings

It's a black fade.  Sheepish dark.  Loving embrace.
And I forgot who you were.

It was only one dream and we blew the stars away from our memory, stripped bare cold, and hated good-byes.
All we wanted was love; twisted smile, bearing satisfaction as if that was nothing to ask for.
Touching my self-indulgence from a cigarette.

You bloom the obvious lights. Blame misfortune and high kings for such interpreted gestures. And we can't all become saints. This barren land won't hold water anymore. So islands are the last of us and all minds are stained. Hively, they chose viciously. Consciousness was the only option. One by one, we become one.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Wounder

Shrapnel built of verb knives cuts veins readily worn on my sleeve.
Dwindled to my last, keeping my eyes down, averting wildly to the back of eyelids.
And it was.....and it was my death of a thousand.

Walking back to the seas of formidable woes.
Clasping loud to the east of wanting to leave.
We can go. We can go to the death of a thousand.

"It's so old, he is lost." said the wounder of wines.
A sentimental tricked into living the locust.
She is gone.  She has gone with the death of a thousand.

As we kiss, blades slice, leaving parts uncooked.
It's easy to dance with these broken toes.
If a thousand are gone then we're one in a million.
Fall together in love, drinking in the pavilion.
We are sworn, sworn to wrap arms and hold tightly.
Breach the mess, you can tear up, I can easily drown you.
Evil swung, I tripped, made it look like a knockdown.
In the car, we sleep, freezing black to your toes.
Your pure. Yet, no purer to the wounder.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Ex-lover.

Incomplete and by comparison a shabby decoy for my dream.
I saw you walk the stairs,
Wandering with aim dancing in strides toward my bed.
Coals are the palms meant for comfort upon my back.
My laughter ceased amidst the brush of locks from my face.
Heavy chemicals taking course to pinnacles I had forgotten.
You had dressed blatant, a wise regard to a false security.
You who knew nothing of true loss.
I saw you held in salt water,
your own tears, a saline disgust.
The wash of make-up, an unwelcome deliberate twist of my disenchantment.
Glass emotion.  Glass heart.  Glass brow.
So your road be paved and withered under your sinned heels.
Mine, a deep monochrome pumping this dilapidated soul.
Bitter torment to the contemned happiness unreachable.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Postings of a Young Life - Ep. 1 Knoxville, A Car Accident, and the Former Love



This is from 2005.  It includes why not to do air duster, a car wreck in the rain into a tree, 2 former girlfriends, day trips to Knoxville twice, and other assorted crap.  I also suck at cutting video.  So.......awesome.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Steady-Winged Acetone

Charred whiskey slid like pedals to the floor.
My eyes gloss and stomach beckoned.
I cripple to the temptation.
Less suddenly becomes more and the light becomes too bright.
Pinching the synapse, clasping the short glass,
I make shortcomings with dreamed rememberings.
I study the tape and steal belongings which were mine to begin with.
The books misled to facts scoured to the ashen leaves.
And we continued our self-worth burning a pyre to the tempered glass.
The label had hid the noxious liquid's strength.
I had laughed with seasons of scores written to the gestures of rain drops.
We touched the eye lids of skies wanting snow upon our fields.
I, then, touching my torch once again to the salt water,
Swallow yet another faltered vague fantasy.
Promising entirely to swallow me empty.

<(^_^)>

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A trip back to high school

Something I threw together during my younger times....

Kissing Through Glass

The shelf life was enough to make you sick.  Expiration considering mentionables.  The smell of soap in your hair stood at the forefront of lasting impressions.  I would walk away from this one briskly.  Clasping sweaty dollars in my pocket, writhing at thoughts of meditation.  I stare into the moon, walk into the ocean, and forgot why I breathed. After the waves subsided, ripples tickled my toes, dripping wet.  Swinging necklaces over prisms, figuring the distance to the nearest star, I'll never see you like they did.  And you just may never see me at all...


 Wednesday, 02 February 2011

Laughing like Hell....

I had selfishly calculated interest into the thing I had loved the most.  Then I turn around and sail from it on a boat with wings, smiling placidly with glazed eyes.

In this ditch I lose myself.  Not looking just leaping.  The risk involved, nill.  There can be no yes's.

I cannot define the moment of breakage.  Simple gestures and aspects of myself which tear this paper plane.  A paper plane wet with indifference and dismality.  My darkness consumes, yet I self-destruct with a smile like an atomic bomb.  The dark night is beauty and I have always been an owl.  No denial to answer to.

And my heart becomes weak.  Lymph nodes swell with the molds of leaves.  Lungs blocked restricting the winds.  And we all have a picnic in this thunderstorm.  It is equal and true.  The scrapes are for iodine and the drinking for alcohol.

You may have caught the glint of perception from this wave; however, this beast is golden, immune, and discrete.  Just like your thoughts.  Your secrets.  Your depravity.

These days are a wet shining leaf, absolved of petty cares.  Blinking shall suffice.

There is a greater plan at work here.

Life can't be so serious if no one makes it out alive anyway.

May 21, 2009

A Handle You've Worn

I'll take my collapsible wings somewhere else
I had never seen a rainbow such as this
Mechanical filth in sulfuric acid screaming in metallic bliss.
But these were not the cries of death, yet of shame
a flowering forth of foul nectar, and necessity of such.
We could piss on our shirts for unbreakable rope, and
we would only bore a hole-hulled vessel heading towards destruction.
A last glimpse of hope in a fiery land cast towards death.

"Why grow old?", she said.

"Because the fungus permits it so." I replied.

And we lifted our heavy feet over dew-laden grass,
gulps of orange juice leaving a stout tart on our lips.
For this was much easier than explaining these failed ironies,
Accepting our own lost greatness, fall from space. Court the darkness.
Where in we formerly could escape, but now becomes our tomb.

So now the energy is devoid, we've compromised for dark energy.
A shade heavier than it's translucency would derive.

We are all empty and full at some points.



Dec 17, 2008

The Sour and the Sweet

It's not growing up that hurts, it's losing the connections you had when you were young that burn the very core of your understanding, and perspective of the world, requiring you to mature to an absurd and sometimes unhappy level.

I wish I were ignorant to the facts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gloom and gold has subsided.
She wiped her hair from her eyes.
A simple exchange of blood and dye.
A scissor cut to your paper burn.
As the daisies will have you for breakfast.
I want to run into someone like a wall of gum.
Stuck, unhindered in my pretense for adoration.
For only one person to understand these words.
Where do my intellect-seeking inhibitions end?
It must be easy for some who are blind.
For it to seem like what I say does not matter.
The blind cannot see the words, simply feel the bumps.
I'll cut that part out lobotomy style.
So that the next may have me ignorant and blissful.
Analytical behavior stand for a curse as much as an upper hand.
Only actions may explain it's wrath.



^_^


Sep 22, 2008

I want you

Some crisp involuntary notion.
And you would kiss my fingers with smiles.
I have all of the world to give to you.
But I've never seen you glancing.
I could ask and hope and then it's not sacred.
But then maybe my love hasn't been until now.
I had scarred myself and broken my own bones,
and the hole is now filled with fresh dirt and sunflowers.
I let the little bugs come outside.

And if I only got to kiss you once,
it meant I was smiling.
That the sycamores would never dry.
That you are the apple of my eye, and then?
Well, I let the little bugs come outside.
Deep, and over, and out, I let them.
They are my lawyers.  And my kisses my handcuffs.
I want you in custody too.
And your orange-flavored lips can be mine.


Aug 18, 2008

Everything is It's Wrong Place

I'm good now. I mean for real. Life is a great thing.

I'm over myself, but not under the table.

I'm looking forward to the taste of red wine.

You are invited.

Let's fucking make a ruckus and catch some fireflies.

The discarded past is a remnant of reflection wading in the waters of pious debachauery. Yet, I shall discard it. Perhaps most with it, but a few. For why else? It's the only way I'll ever be able to live sanely. And if you REALLY know me, then I think you know what I mean. Apathy is a cold strangle of sad drunks, and addicted musicians. It is needed at times, and it can become comfortable, maybe even too comfortable. But the majority of the time, it's simply smothering and restless. Like a plastic bag choking dolphins, and I was just screeching, writhing in the water, thinking "maybe if I move the right way...."

And thats bullshit. Like most of everything maybe. But it's what I've come to. Because it's true. Like the good advice I brush off, it is utterly true.

Like the crime of addiction. The crime of love. The crime of obsession.


The pathetic details should never overwrite the inauspicious ends. Fuck the details. They bring discretion at too high a level, and confuse the very fabric of what is important to you. It all seems so simple sometimes, like you can place the point at which these details became important, but the truth is it's much harder. The details can become anything, and the extent to which you will rectify them is astounding. All too abolish insecurities which are healthy. Which are normal. Which make you even give a fuck. And when you disregard those, you become a king of narcissism. The very pinnacle of self-obsessed ass. Perhaps my own perspective is biased, but I know that these things ARE true. It is simple fear at the root of it. No blame-shift. No 2nd chances. Just a sweet kiss goodbye to the wrong-doings of your former self; Or, that which you'd like to be, but are maybe just on your way.

Let's create. Maybe we can forget or just choose not to remember. Because the ends are a much better thing to remember. Too fucking sweet for anything else to matter as much.


^_^

Jun 30, 2008

And it was all half-smiles

All terrapins were choking me,
the soft gallant return to individuality.
We did not see the stars that night,
the synapse-based paint flooded our perception;
a flowing merely glowing with resonance.
As if shafts of prism-light held us into the air,
great hands for reaching nebulae.

Gold, perhaps, I could scrounge.
As if desire held no price.
A weak Thursday apparent and unseen.
We could forget our names and swallow fireflies
on hills of abalone and wheat.

I can go to sleep, but only when you break glass,
and steer the fraudulant scavengers to foul fare.
Crisp apples were the taking of our enjoyment.
The cloud, the daisy, and the firestorm.
You only die once and live but a few times.
So she spoke trapped in lenses.
Amid the bridled king of addictions.
And you shall see all half-smiles.
Subordinate rulers are the others in loathesome.

Jun 23, 2008

Open your fucking eyes.

On the ever-turning point of the government internally fucking you, I have
 more upsetting certainities.



A myth is an idea that while widely believed, is false.  In a deeper sense, in
 the religious sense, a myth serves as an orienting and mobilizing story for a
 people.  The focus is not on the story's reality, but it's function.  A story
 cannot function, unless it is believed to be true in the community or the nation.

 It is not a matter of debate, if some people have the bad taste to raise the
 question of the truth of the sacred story, the keepers of the faith do not enter
 into debate with them, they ignore them or denounce them as blasphemers.

We know that the men who were the supposed "hi-jackers"on 9/11 had their
 houses, cars, and credit cards paid for by the U.S. government.  In truth, they
 were agents.  The core of each of the twin towers were made of 47 massive steel
 columns, if the floors had broken loose from them, the core would have still been
 standing.  The creators of the bulding claim it could have withstood 4 to 7
 Boeing 747 strikes.  The only explanation which would explain a building falling
 at "free-fall" speed, are explosions.  In controlled demolitions, the core beams
 are cut at an angle, to produce a simultaneous drop of walls and "core" material.

 The beams of the twin towers are ALL cut at angles.  There were massive pools of
 metal found all around the columns. You see, 6 weeks after the drop of the
 towers, there were still hotspots documented over 2000 degrees, thats 500 degrees
 hotter than even jet fuel burns.  The official reports include nothing about
 molten pools of metal.

Through Electron Microscope analysis of the melted WTC Steel & the Iron-rich
 Microspheresin in the dust, Dr. Jones found exact traces of not only the 'Thermite'
 explosive compound, but, due to the high sulfur content, "Thermate" - a patended
 brand of thermite used in the demolition industry.


They covered up the 7 Trade Center building falling.

Building 7 has the tell-tale 'crink' in the middle of the building as it fell,
 marking that one of the support columns had been dropped, in order not not damage
 the buildings around it. The 9/11 commission report implicitly admitted that it
 could not explain what happened to this building, by not even mentioning it.

 Page 172 of the 9/11 commission:  "The U.S. government has not been able to
 determine the origin of the money used for the 9/11 attacks.  Ultimately, the
 questions is little practical significance."

It is of massive consequence.  Doesn't it matter who paid for 9/11?

When Bush and Cheney met with the 9/11 Commission, they did so only on their own
 terms:

The appeared together, they were not under oath, no press or family
 members were allowed to attend, no recording of any kind was allowed, and no
 transcript was allowed.

There is literally nothing in the 9/11 report that the Bush Administration did
 not approve of.

We can understand, therefore, that the administration, would have ignored all the
 evidence that would have pointed to the truth. That 9/11 was a false flag
 operation intended to authorize the doctrines and funds needed for a new level of
 imperial mobilization.

Nearly all terror suspects are released without charges....but thats after they
 make the front page for you to see.

Ted Gunderson - Former FBI Chief of LA, Dallas, and Memphis operations:

"The CIA is done is this country, look at what they done to us.  Look at all the
 terrorist acts that have occurred, the CIA behind most if not all of them. We had
 the marine barracks, we had our embassy in Kenya, we had Pan-Am - 103, we had the
 U.S.S. Cole, we had Oklahoma City, and we had the World Trade Center in 1993.

The informant, a 43-year-old Egyptian army officer, was given the assignment to
 put the bomb together (WTC 1993); And he went to his supervisor, his FBI
 supervisor, and said "We're gonna put a dummy-bomb in there right?" and the FBI
 supervisor said "NO! We're going to put a real bomb in there."  He was paid 1
 million for his services. Unfortunately for them, only 6 people were killed.  Not
 enough to pass legislation (anti-terror legislation), so what happened was, a
 short time later, down comes Oklahoma City, 168 people killed.  One year later,
 the anti-terror legislation, which takes away many of our constitutional rights
 and civil liberties, is passed.  And when I think about how many Americans were
 killed in New York, and believing as I do that this think was a set up job, this
 is a text-book operation that Nazis used, and they've used it over and over and
 over again. America has been suckered in one more time."

The Truth

Criminal elements within the U.S. government staged a "False Flag" Terror Attack
 on it own citizens, in order to manipulate public perception into supporting it's
 agenda. They have been doing this for years.  9/11 was an inside job.

Since Sept. 11th:

Military spending has increased by 100 billion a year in the U.S.

Nearly all the Bill of Rights have been subverted.

Two "Preemptive" Wars killing over (800,000) civilians have been waged.

....and that is just the beginning.

A fear campaign has been inaugurated.

"The world is governed by different personages from what is imagined by those who
 are not behind the scenes."

       -Benjamin Dislaeli - English statesmen 1844

"The real truth of the matter is that a financial element in the large centers
 has owned the government since the days of Andrew Jackson."

    - Franklin D Roosevelt - U.S. President 1933


Value of a dollar

What is a central bank?

A central bank is a bank that produces the currency of an entire nation.


Essentially there are two specific powers inherent in central banking - the
 control of interest rates and the control of money supply (inflation).  The
 central bank does not simply supply a country's economy with money, it loans it
 to them at interest.  Then through the use of increasing and decreasing the
 supply of money, the central bank regulates the value of the currency being
 issued.  It is critical to understand that the entire structure of this system
 can only produce one thing - DEBT.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure
 that out.

For every single dollar produced by the central bank is loaned, at interest, that
 means every single dollar produced is actually the dollar plus a certain
 percentage of this dollar immediately in debt.  That means that the central bank
 has a monopoly over the production of the currency for the entire country, and
 they loan each dollar out with immediate debt attached to it.

Where does the money to pay for the debt come from?

It can only come from the central bank again, which means that the central bank
 has to perpetually increase it's money supply to temporarily cover the
 outstanding debt created, which in turn, since that new money is loaned out at
 even more interest, creates more debt. The end result of this system, without
 fail, is slavery, for it is impossible for the government and thus the public to
 ever come out of the self-generating debt.  The founding fathers of this country
 were well aware of this.

"I believe banking institutions are more dangerous than standing armies...If the
 American people ever allow banks to control the issue of currency...the banks and
 corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of their
 property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers
 conquered."

     -Thomas Jefferson 1734-1826


The Federal Reserve Act was written by bankers not lawmen.  Woodrow Wilson agreed
 to sign the act just before becoming president, in exchange for campaign support.


Later he wrote in regret:

"Our great industrial nation is controlled by a system of credit.  Our system of
 credit is privately concentrated.  The growth of our nation, therefore, and all
 our activities are in the hands of a few men...who necessarily, by very reason of
 their own limitations, chill and check and destroy genuine economic freedom.

We have come to one of the worst ruled, on of the most completely controlled and
 dominated governments in the civilized world - no government by free opinion, no
 longer a government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a government
 by the opinion and the duress of small groups of dominant men."

    -Woodrow Wilson

Louis McFadden also expressed his concern shortly after the bill was passed:

"A world banking system was being set up here....A superstate controlled by
 international bankers....acting together to enslave the world for their own
 pleasure.  The FED has usurped the government."

    -Louis McFadden

Now, the public was told that the federal reserve system was an economic
 stabilizer, and that inflation and economic crises were a thing of the past.  But
 I think as we've seen this is most certainly false.  The fact is, the
 international bankers now have a stream-lined machine with which to expand their
 personal ambitions.

They caused the depression, by increasing money supply, then calling in thousands
 of loans.  This created panic.

"Under the federal reserve act, panics are scientifically created.  The present
 panic is the first scientifically created one, worked out as we figure a
 mathematical equation."

    -Charles Lindberg


Margin Loans were the path to the first depression.  These were loans that could
 be called in at any time, and must be paid within 24 hours.  This resulted in a
 Margin Call, and the typical result of a margin call, was the selling of the
 stock purchased with the loan.  These cause massive panic in the market, which
 cause call-ins on margin loans in mass.  This enabled conspiring national bankers
 to not only buy up smaller banks at a discount, but to also buy whole
 corporations at pennies of a dollar.  It was the greatest robbery in American
 history.  But that didn't stop there.  Rather than increase the money supply
 which would recover from this economic collapse, the FED actually contracted it,
 fueling one of the largest depressions in history.

Once again Louis McFadden, congressman and great opposer of the banking cartels
 outraged in defiance:

"It was a carefully contrived occurrence.  International bankers sought to bring
 about a condition of despair, so that they might emerge the rulers of us all."


Now, deciding to even further their strangle-hold on money, the federal bankers
 decided to remove the gold standard, but to do this, they needed to require the
 remaining gold in the system.  So under the pretense of "helping to end the
 depression", came a 1933 gold seizure, under the threat of imprisonment for 10
 years, everyone in America was required to turn in all gold bullion to the
 treasury, essentially robbing the public of what little wealth they had left.

And in 1933 the gold standard was abolished. If you look at a dollar bill before
 1933, it says, it is redeemable in gold. You look at a dollar bill today, it says
 it is legal TENDER. Which means it is backed by absolutely nothing.  It is
 worthless paper.  The ONLY thing which gives our money, is how much of it is in
 circulation, therefore, the power to regulate the money supply is also the power
 to regulate it's value.  Which is also the power to bring entire economies to
 their knees.

"Give me control of a nation's money supply, and I care not who makes the laws."

    -Mayor Amschiel Rothschild, Founder of Rothschild Banking Dynasty

It's important to clearly understand, that the Federal Reserve, is a private
 corporation.  It's about as federal, as Federal Express.  It makes it's own
 policies and is virtually no regulation by the U.S. government.  It is a private
 bank, that loans all the currency at interest to the government.  Completely
 consistent with the fraudulent banking model the country sought to escape from in
 the Revolutionary War.

Now lets remember the Federal Income Tax.  It's worthwhile to point out that the
 American public's ignorance to the Federal Income Tax is a testament to how
 dumbed down and oblivious the American population really is.

First of all, the Federal Income Tax, is completely unconstitutional, as it is a
 DIRECT, UNAPPORTIONED tax.  All direct taxes must be apportioned, to be legal,
 according to the constitution.  Secondly, the minimum number of states in order
 to ratify the amendment, was never met.  This has even been cited at modern
 court cases.  Third, on average 25% of a workers pay is taken via this tax.  And
 guess where that money goes?!  It goes to pay the interest, on the currency being
 produced by the fraudulent Federal Reserve Bank.  A system that does not have to
 exist at all.

The money you make, working almost 3 months out of the year, goes almost
 literally into the pockets of the international bankers who own the private
 Federal Reserve bank.

And fourth, even with the fraudulent government claim as to the legality of the
 income tax, there is literally no statute, no law in existence, which requires
 you to pay.

The income tax is nothing less, than the enslavement of the entire country.
 WWI cost 30 billion to America, all borrowed from the Federal Reserve Bank at
 interest.  This resulted in a marginally high profit to international bankers.

 Pearl harbor was known about.  As we've seen, nothing is more profitable to
 international bankers, than war.

Important Fact:  Nazi Germany's war effort was due possible to I.G. Farben, they
 produced over 84% of Germany's explosives and even the ZYCLON B used in the
 concentration camps. One of the unspoken partners of I.G. Farben was J.D.
 Rockefellers U.S. Standard Oil Company in America, in fact the German air force
 could not operate without a special additive patented by Rockefeller's Standard
 Oil.

The Union Banding Corp. of New York City also financed numerous aspects to
 Hitler's rise to power along with actual materials during the war.   Guess who
 the president of the bank was at that time? Prescott Bush, our current
 president's grandfather.  Keep that in mind when considering the moral and
 economic decisions of the Bush family.

 The sinking of the PT boats at the start of the Vietnam war, was a completely
 staged event in order to get us into it.  Many officers have come forward since
 then and said plainly it was "a contrived farce".  A complete lie.
 The war went on so long, because it was never meant to be won, just sustained.

War for profit.

So where are we now?

9/11 was no different than a staged war-pretext in order to initiate one no
 different, than the sinking of the Lusitania in WW1, the provoking of Pearl
 Harbor, And The Gulf of Tonkin Ly.  In fact if it weren't a pretext for war, it
 would be an exception to the rule.  It has been used to launch two illegal,
 unprovoked wars, one against Iraq, and one against Afghanistan. However, 9/11 was
 also the pretext of another war, the war against you.

The Patriot Act, Homeland Security, The Military Tribunals Act, and other
 legislations are all completely and entirely designed to destroy your civil
 liberties and limit your ability to fight back against what is coming.  Read the
 Patriot Act and tell me what it says?

A lot can happen to you just under the 'hunch' of you being a 'terrorist'.  There
 is a whole hospital in Europe even, where they cater to nothing but American
 torture victims.

If you think this is something new, lets remind ourselves of how history repeats
 itself.  Hitler staged a 'False Flag' attack on his own building, burning it down
 and saying it was an act by communist terrorists.  After that he passed a bill,
 completely eradicating the German constitution, destroying peoples liberties.  He
 then led a series of pre-emptive wars, all justified to the Germany people as
 necessary to maintaining HOMELAND SECURITY.



"An evil exists that threatens every man, woman, and child of this great nation.
 We must take steps to ensure our domestic scurity and protect our homeland."

George W. Bush?

No.

Adolf Hitler - when announcing the Gestapo to the people

It's time to wake up.


The people in power go out of their way to make sure that you are perpetually
 misled and manipulated.  The majority's perception of reality, especially in the
 political arena, is not their own.  It is shrewdly imposed upon them without them
 even knowing it.  For example. most Americans think the invasion of Iraq is going
 badly. But what the public doesn't see is that de-stabilization of Iraq is
 exactly what the government wants.  This war is to be sustained.  So the region
 can be divided up, domination of the oil maintained, continual profits reaped for
 the defense contractors, and most importantly, permanent military bases
 established, to be used as a launching platform against other oil-bearing,
 non-conforming countries, such as Iran and Syria.

You know I can't do it for you.  I can sit  here and type for hours.  You won't
 listen to me.  I am no one.  Watch the movie "Zeitgeist". Watch the move "Network" from 1976.  Let it show you what you don't want to believe. I'm off.  I tried to tell you.  Learn.  GET MAD!!!!!!!!!


You'd better wake up and understand that there are people guiding your life and
 you don't even realize it.

There are even open border policies that you don't even know about.  Canada, Mexico, and the United States are all one country now.  If you don't know what this is, You just wasted all of your time reading this.



^_^  


Jun. 15, 2008

Why your Abercrombie will KILL you

It seems I’ve always known when you say yes, but never when to say no.

As is solving the ever-undemystifiable problem of the incomplete self, would
 yield answers.

These days, it’s easy for someone to die and for us to put someone in a grave and
 thats it.

Former man would ’understand the dead’, as it were. Keeping The Dead in mind in
 daily life, atleast in an idyllic sense.

You are going to die. It’s O.K. You are going to die. But why? To me, in my
 fuck-slosh of imbalanced chemicals I call a brain, it just seems intrinsically
 unfair to not enjoy this. This sea of moment. Essence of life. Forever. I am so attached
 to this barrage of familiar, that I realize no matter how much I have faith in
 one religion, I’ll eternally be haunted by the unfamiliar. Ahh yes,
 intrinsically human.

Every moment you are breathing, you are taking in some of what’s around you. You
 walk outside, you are breathing in rock, tree, grass, dirt, and whatever else is
 around you.

Let’s cut off a finger of thought though. The term would be Off-gassing. This
 very real and apparent danger to society is when certain solids and liquids are
 made from products which have materials in them that will readily evaporate,
 creating gasses which are extremely carcinogenic.

Suddenly, it goes from trading your car in every year for a brand new one, to
 ending up with some rare-ass form of cancer at 45 and wondering why. What you
 didn’t realize were all of the dyes in the upholstery, the fixatives for those
 dyes, the suspenders for dyes, all the various forms of plastics, and the paints.
 Real quick you begin to see how many things in your world are actually unsafe.

Including many plastics used in common daily, household, and work-related items.

Exceedingly toxic items are materials used in building mobile-homes and other
 various types of residential units.

But, lets be honest, a lot of us never had a chance. When you were born, you
 were instantly placed next to fresh, new, plastic, painted, dyed,
 mass-manufactured, and fixatived: toys, linens, and diapers.

Remember that "new car" smell? Poison.

Taking a stroll through the interesting sense-provoking wood section at Lowe’s?

Poison.


Our new technological, sell-fast lifstyle doesn’t appear too utopic to me. We
 seem to be the generation to see our parents go through cancers. Perhaps the
 generation before me too, it’s not that many years.
 The phrase "live life for the now", never seemed so meaningful.
 Yeah we will all die. And it’s ok. But damn. Our world is our own toxic soup?
 What a shit deal man. I swear, I’d own a damn island. And just live there. But
 who can stop it. Im as dead as you. ^_^ But I love this life very much. Just
 keep in mind, what you are buying and how you are living. It’s quite common to
 underestimate your own death; Or, better yet, to cause it far earlier than was
 needed.
 And if you aren’t having SOME kind of fun. Atleast you can breathe.

^_^


Apr 8, 2008

Stark Saturday Blasphemy

I think I'm taken far less serious now.  Like some verocity about my personality has somehow vanished.  Ironically I feel just the opposite on the inside.

I think I'm one of the few people who atleast make some attempt to hang out with the people I stay connected through myspace with.  Granted, I slide back.  It might be inconvenient at one point.  But I cannot recall how many times I post some bulletin, offering free party materials, a place to stay, and some company; and yet it seems as though everyone is so busy.  It would only lead one to believe that perhaps no one is as bored as I am.  Regardless of validity, in my own head, how would I know different?

Here, another saturday, I wait to get numbed out of my skull.  Liquid and smoke completing my dinner of champions.  And likewise, an entire packet of smokes, what a night this will be.  More writing songs in drunken stupors.  Masterpieces of audible art I create with flicks of my fingers, more often than not a drunken I produces quite formidle music.  And tonight shall be no different, I callibrate.

And in knowing I would do this, I supposed I would try to invite someone.  For I play these songs for no other reason.  Except for someone to hear them.  Often I end up alone, mics on, guitar revved, tamborine under my feet, ready to blow up the world.  Or just fall into it.

Self-medication is beyond overdescribed among people who indulge in counterculter activities.  There are millions of kinds of drug users.  The person looking for a good time, catching a buzz.  The guy down on his luck, 'self-medicating'.  And sometimes there are those so stuck on realistic, logical thinking, that rationalization will have them believing it doesn't matter.  Because it's easy to feel good if you know there is nothing you can do about the most important things.  Selective ignorance.  Passive realization.  And perhaps the keen sense of opulance.

Expectng more makes me feel undeserving.  Like a murderer forgiven by the family.  Perfectionism devours my ambitions, though more.  Falling short isn't losing the lottery, it is such of nuclear explosions and ailing dreams.

The do or die time is trying.  It is looking at us all, I feel, with this expression that says, "I am in control." The utter ignorance that the possibility of bliss is. Some concerns I have dropped completely.  As such a thing should happen when we become a bit smarter, or blooms wisdom, or churns innovation.  The seeking of enlightenment in this life is all the first stage.  And I am nowhere near even that.  Im just some dude on a fucking cloud, checking out the scene through the fence.  

^_^ haha 


Jan 19, 2008

Tower shields and imperial tunics; Falchions to harm myself with

I want to be psychic.
I miss my childhood friends.
I wish I could cry at all anymore.
I will be someone completely different one day.
I miss the ocean.
I miss love.
I want things which are unattainable.
I see things from skewed perspectives.
Sometimes I want to press stop on this tape.
But I never do.
Im currently trying to piece myself together.  As usual.
I already know who I'm to be.
I lose things alot sometimes.
I have the memory of an elephant about certain things.
I have the intellect of a bee about others.
The most advanced medicine has the most basic ingredient.
Ambient music moves my soul beyond words.
Wisdom makes you greater than you are, and deader than you are.

Feb 2, 2007

The laughter had receded.....

The laughter had receded all too well as we moved closer to the door with bags in hand.  The thick stench of regret had left a less-than-visible green tint on our place of residence.  The dew in the grass now pined for greater places to hang themselves, as they dried and their enemy the sun would rise high.  We walked on.  No more giving looks to the street people pushing their carts, putting out their cigarettes, and laughing about their merry failures.
We had considered this place dead.  An aqueduct for our pain.  The reservoir of what we once knew to be true, but still only kept left to confusion and contempt.  As we opened our doors to the chariot that would take us far far from this place, I envisioned you.
A mile away you felt for I could not smell your sweet perfume on the wind any longer.  All I saw was the tail of your dress, a mile away, the wind whipping past your windswept hair; and all I could do was laugh, for in this vision I was running towards you.  As if you were slipping from me at some unreachable distance on foot.  That mile away, too long for the split seconds in my mind you were there.  But you are beside of me now.  In this car.  We are starting the engine and turning the key and not looking back.  What we use to know is something shivering and cold, like a small hungry child in the street, in the winter on an empty stomach.  You look at me and smile.
 "Where will we go?"
I shuffle my feet, ready to apply gas and accept the decisions we so often do.
"Where ever this car will take us."
I lurch forward in this box of metal and wires and plastic and luggage, and make my way to the highway.  That rudimentary, redundant monster which can provide you everything or nothing.  The greatest love of your life or the deepest horrors of your imagination.  New towns will never solve us.  We sleep in our problems and live in our glory.  All too aware of our faults without confronting them.
I want to write a book. I don't write according to english rules though.  I write as it is supposed to read.  Suppose I'll care not for the corrections and live for the meaning.  Problem #1


+_+



Nov 6, 2006